Rockettes, Rockstars and Rockbottom - Autobiography of Keltie Colleen

Rating: 3/5 - interesting, surprisingly well written, kinda made me hate Ryan Ross

I only read this to learn about Ryan but it was actually pretty good and i got genuinely invested in her life. Being a dancer sounds like torture but to each their own.

It wasn't really about her dancing career though. 60% of the book is just "I'm so over ryan and I'm way cooler than him and hes a washed up loser".
Is it weird to publish a whole book detailing the worst and most vulnerable parts of your ex's life that strangers really shouldnt know? Well yeah. but I cant even fault her for that if half of what she said about him is true.

As one of many ryan-obsessed teenage girls this was definitely a tough read to say the least, every new chapter was like being beaten over the head with a sign that says "those cute girly band guys you like are actually terrible people! fame always corrupts! Never trust anyone!!!"

I physically cringed reading about how much of an asshole he was (hopefully past tense), especially how he neglected their poor dog... but i have to empathize with him too as no one in his situation would turn out normal or well adjusted, especially not when he was clearly mentally at his lowest back then, and everyone at every turn was idolizing him and acting like he was a god.

I will admit keltie pissed me the fuck off at times, like her weird racist comment about air india or calling ryans new girlfriend a soulless, hot, blonde "keltie-lookalike"
(and if the girl she was talking about was z berg i would be even more pissed like back off my goat Z...)
And of course mainly how when describing her first meetings with Ryan, she constantly mentions their age difference, how he looks like an innocent 14 year old, how she was attracted to how childish, naive and overly emotional he was, and how she knew he would fall for her much harder than she could for him. It kinda screams manipulator.

She also definitely fed into his need for a mother/therapist figure rather than a girlfriend by basically treating him like a child and doing everything for him.
Its sad that everyone around him enabled him instead of letting him learn the hard way that you have to actually grow up and take care of yourself eventually.

Of course none of this justifies his truly evil behavior (that is, if everything said in this book is true, we'll never know how much is exaggerated or skewed), and it definitely doesn't excuse Panic fans' insane treatment of her. YES, her behavior is weird, but she was definitely the victim in that situation and fans really look for any excuse to justify their favorite band guys' actions. Just admit you hate women and go, it'd save us all time.

But yeah its umm... eye opening.. and i wish the best of luck to ms keltie because even though the ending was trying to be uplifting, she truly seems like an unstable and self destructive person (and one i can relate to way too much for comfort tbh..)